I know this isn't directed at me but since it's posted on the forum I hope on not out of line by responding.
I spent most of my formative years as a goth/punk and all I wanted was to be solid with a goth/punk girl (they were very rare in St. Louis in the 80s). After several horrible relationships I met a girl that was the furthest thing from a goth/punk, she was a southern belle that was into athletics.
My opinion is that attachments based on affinities can go deeper but usually crumble at the first fight, relationship based on shared core values (truth, selflessness, commitment, the natural beauty of life, etc) will more likely weather the storms of interpersonal conflicts. My wife thinks 911 was exactly what the Bush administration says, it would be cool if we could bond over ancient aliens, suppressed tech and hollow earth but we've got other stuff that reinforces our attachment.
I only know a little bit about the gay community in my area. My wife used to work for the National Registry of Interpreters for the Deaf (an overwhelming number of hearing sign language interpreters are homosexuals... take that to mean whatever you want) and became close friends with a few people in the local gay community. I can't speak for the gay community in the rest of the nation but once you get away from the bar/club scene in the DC area the dating pool is pretty diverse. With all the politics, military bases, national association HQs and foreign embassies there is no shortage of homosexuals that break any sort of stereotype that you might be frustrated with. Hope something I said is encouraging.
and... just to address the elephant in the room. your first sentence is basically asking a person to 'out' himself. From the few homosexuals I know, I'm told that it is inappropriate to ask and that if a person is ready they with disclose their orientation on their own.
